Thursday Purple

 What a thursday afternoon! Is raining outside now and the room temperature seems like all falling under 0 celcius, make me feel so xx cold back here with my blazer on but still.....Just done rushing for my own stuff, take a short break coming into xanga---yeh blogging-- without a clear agenda but just simply blogging....

What a July! too much things occured recently until the stuffs have been fully occupied my mind, too many important decisions are pending for my approvals ~~SHould I or shouldn;t I , and too many issues to settle and think within this whole month. Guess I might need a short break again! yeh, i was just taking break during June but somehow it seems like not really enough!....too bad...i was jst cancel off my august HK trip to visit my buddies back there else it must be a real enjoyable trip, missing my pals heaps, really hope to get in touch with them again.... but...sometimes u just can't have everything in one shot, i have chosen to attend the vietnam to China bagpacking trip instead........choose btw the two....due to the leave issue, i only have 10 days left back in the pocket..... fish & the bear pawn, which u like to choose?

Samething apply on the stuffs that happend surrounding me recently......which is which, X vs Y vs Z. What I really want??? How nice if i do not need to make the decisions but just continue my own way ya since i just started to adapt to the current circumstances! but man's life have to be improved isn;t it ? yeh, so i have to move my steps towards front again. steps by steps, days by days, i feel good yay!

The days will be better and better for sure as I feel it!!!

Look familiar rite? Yeh, it is Din Tai Fung, the shanghainese restaurent we used to go when we were back in LA with a bunch of them. ( Btw, I have forgotten the way to go  ^^). The shanghainese Xiu Lung Bao there are so yummy, miss it miss it and miss it!!!! Here we go.....we got to have it again back in ASIA, horee!! Went down to Singapore with my baby Jia Wen last few weeks,and there we eat it again.Yummy!!!! (Btw, JW kept on feeding me when I was with her, she intended to make me fat again, my god!!)

Times really fly, still rmb we were just having the meal in the Din Tai Fung before we were back here, and now we are in another new environment but eating the same things. Same food, different taste, different environment, with different people, how the feeling will be? Anyhow, we really did enjoy alot for the food. LA buddies who are still there, feel free to join us and have fun when u guys ar back here again!!^^

There are so many Sifu making Xiu Lung Bao inside the so called display room. It's really clean tho.

Kept on trying the Gelato while waiting for the Fruit SALAD'''''''''

I like ice cream!!!!

It's been 5 days after the incident....jiang wei has gone for almost a week, everybody was just so shocked when they received the news of his death, including myself.......

sunday evening....was ready to drive back from brea to west covina for dinner....phone rang... out of sudden....who's calling???some of the frens from Michigan....wonder why they call at this unusual time....."wassup dude.....so nice calling me huh....." i asked......'"eeleen, we have something important and serious to tell u....."" what;s that....dont scare me"......"we received jiang's dad call....jiang wei is deadd....he was drowned in the muskegon lake........" WHAT!!!!!.............followed by silent in our conversation.......Sam sobbed....." We are now on the way to muskegon hospital to see him....his body....." .....what;s really going on?????he's gone.......real gone.....gone without saying goodbye....gone without notice.....god had take him away from us......i 've just lost a fren........or i should said...we hav lost a fren......and we can no longer see him and tease him........

Life is so fragile.....we wouldn't know when we will be called for shutting down our eyes...and sleep forever....we just wouldn't know.......and i've learned a lesson from that.....which I have to appreciate the things that I have now......appreciate my beloved one, my family and my friends......that's what i care for now but not others....(but if they dont appreciate, i wouldn;t do much but respect their decisions, as long as they ar happy with it)  .......

Losing a fren is like losing a piece of my heart as frens do mean alot to me no matter who........that;s wat i thougth..... maybe u wouldn;t understand and might not agree with me......it doesn;t matter........ everyone had their own thoughts....i respect.....what do u think????

anyway....i hope eveyone around me do know how to appreciate what they have now..........their life, their frens.....and hopefully everyone live happily till then......

Jiang....you will always stay in our heart.....rest in peace...may god bless you.....

is late.......listening to this lovely song.........looking at the monitor and the walls....I ask myself.....what kind of feeling is that??.......hardly can be described........Sometimes i wonder......wonder whether the decision that I had made is right........I ask myself....what am I really looking for actually????........what kind of life I want???am i really happy with the current situation????the answer is....i dunno....and....i really dunno......

somebody told me ..... you have chosen it....so you can't blame on anyone else......and you have to bear it.........deserve it.........stunned........i was stunned.....really stunned at that moment.....awake from the sweet dreams.........and I have to face the reality.......the facts.......yes.....he's right some how........i have chose it....so i have to bear it no matter what..........deserve to stay far away from home....far away from my beloved one......gave up everything as to fullfill this task........but.....who will actually understand me beside myself... ...... i really wonder......it might be you......who knows..............guess nobody will actually know how i feel.....how i stand.........since the day i had to stand by myself.........support myself......

being so lost for past few months  ........never being so miserable before....the feeling was really sucks.........break down......collapsed......nobody knows........hardly came accross...........wonder why i can be like that.....where is the tough gal ???.....i kept looking for answer.......being tough, being strong and being independent......are always suppose belong to me....always thought that i am tough enough to take any situation....strong enough to encounter any obstacles......but guess...this time...it really turn me down.....the whole world is grey in color......where are all my colors........eveyrthing happened unexpectedly......and this time....i had really lost to the facts......

but well....thanks god....i found back my soul at least.......no longer being so miserable......awake........taking a deep breath in front of the sea that day.........walk along the sea......the unhappiness in my mind had gone with the wind when i was walking on the beach.........never feel so relief before.........it's time........ i told mysellf..............no more sad thing.....no more crying.......since then.............i am alive again.........